Tranquil Transitions by Lori

I'm Here to Support You

Pre-Passing

I'm Here to Support You

- Offering holistic care

- Writing down your wishes for your final months, and days

- Doing research together to help decide on which type of burial you want

- Help you talk with family and friends about your wishes

- Being present without judgment

- Listening empathetically

- Providing comfort

- Sharing spiritual poems, prayers and music

- Reading/play cards/do art

- Going on outings

- Meditating to help you relax

- Using journaling to write your memoir

- Validating your feelings

- Providing respite help

- Assisting you with ELOA - End of Life Option, a law signed by Gov. Brown in 2015

- And much more...

Post-Passing

I'm Here to Listen and Provide Support

- Working with your family and friends, teaching how to mourn and cope through peaceful, mindful exercises

- Providing bereavement advice

- Serving as a shoulder to cry on

- Reassuring you about life and death

- Helping you prepare to move on

- Getting a meal train organized and set up with your friends and family

- Using relaxation techniques for healing

- And much more...

Pets

I'm Here to Help You Mourn Your Best Friend

- Providing total understanding and compassion

- Responding empathetically as a pet owner and lover who's had to compassionately end the lives of several beloved cats and dogs

- Listening to ALL your stories

- Helping you find a new pet to love

- And much more...

About Me

My Life in a Nutshell

I was born in Los Angeles County, where my brother and I were raised by our single mother. Both of my parents remarried and I gained two half-sisters from my father. I had a supportive family with my aunt and grandparents living close by.

As a teenager I joined my local temple youth group, which was a great outlet for me and introduced m

As a teenager I joined my local temple youth group, which was a great outlet for me and introduced me to many of my closest friends still today, including my future husband Larry. I worked at my family business retail store and learned to become a full-charge bookkeeper.

I married my best friend Larry in 1980, when I was only 20 years old. We have lived in Ithaca, NY, Goleta, CA two different times, the Boston area and Dublin, CA. I have two grown sons and three grandchildren who all live in Sonoma County, CA. And that is the main reason why we moved to be closer to them. Currently I have one dog and two cats.

I have had many different careers. I started in bookkeeping. I went to culinary school and then to travel agency school in the 80s. I was even fortunate enough to have a culinary externship in baking in Paris. In the 1990s I started my own catalog business, "Whet Your Appetite!" selling gourmet foods and gift baskets.

In 2010 I started my next career as a grandmother! Since then, I have been focused on being with my grandchildren and also volunteering with local non-profit groups, including service on boards.

I love to be with my family, walk my dog and cuddle with my cats. I gain serenity and strength from the ocean, so you will find me at the beach quite often. I enjoy reading, working with mixed-media art, knitting, doing Sudoku puzzles, watching movies, traveling the world, cooking, entertaining and baking delicious goodies. I play bridge, mah jongg, cribbage, pretty much any card game. I adore my friends and talk to them as often as I can.

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My Road...

My Life in a Nutshell

When I was around 40 I was in the room when my great-aunt passed away. It was my first experience of seeing someone die. Although I was very sad, I realized that she died very peacefully, which relieved a lot of fears that I had about death.

Fast forward 15 years, and I was in the hospital when my father-in-law, whom I was very close to,

Fast forward 15 years, and I was in the hospital when my father-in-law, whom I was very close to, died. Talking with him while he was going, I felt that my words allowed him to "let go". Another peaceful experience.

In 2016, after Larry and I moved up to Sonoma County, a new acquaintance told me about a program through Jewish Family and Children's Services (JFCS) in San Francisco that would allow me to become a certified Palliative Care Volunteer. After researching and soul searching, I decided to go ahead with the program. I really like their philosophy with their main goal to improve the quality of life. I learned how to focus on relieving stress, being there as an emotional, holistic spiritual supporter of someone with a serious illness. Through my personal care I can optimize the quality of one's life. After completing the program, I worked with one client that I had for about a year before she passed.

In the Summer of 2021 I decided to further my education through a certificate program with International Association of Professional Career College (IAP) and became a certified Death Doula.

Shortly after that, I completed the Sutter Hospice Volunteer Certificate program. I am now working with hospice patients by visiting them where they are living.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What exactly is a Death Doula, and how are you different from Hospice?

According to Dictionary.com the definition of doula is: "A professional who provides support and assistance to individuals or families, especially during a medical or emotional crisis. Death Doulas offer comfort and companionship to dying patients."

Similar to a birthing doula, a death doula provides physical comfort, mental and emotional support without judgement. A death doula is someone you can trust to put YOUR interests first.

Many questions arise, and also concerns, fears and other emotions; and I am here to help with all of that. That's what I'm trained to do, and get pleasure out of knowing that you will pass with your dignity and love, reflecting your personality.

Hospice, in general, will keep you as a patient for no more than six months, perhaps longer if you are actively declining. They usually will provide a nurse to come once a week to do a check up. Hospice provides a doctor and clergy as needed. They also have their own facilities where you can pass if you choose. Their main concern is that you die peacefully. They provide literature to the family of the patient of the signs to look for in the days as the end is nearing, and they try to help the family understand what is going on in the body. They want everyone to have as good experience as possible, considering the situation.

As a certified Death Doula I can do much more. I can be there for many years, from your first diagnosis to your last breath. I can come once a week and just be there to support your needs that arise, and I can come more often as desired. I can enrich the dying experience for you and your loved ones. I'm a trained professional who provides assistance and guidance with holistic services. I can help with the many difficult and complex emotions while navigating the signs and symptoms of the dying process. I'll be part of YOUR team, which also might include a caregiver, home nurse, social workers, Hospice care, clergy, and of course your family and friends. All of us together are there for you to help facilitate a good, easy and peaceful death.

Death doulas are part of the Death Positive movement, a social and philosophical movement that encourages people to speak openly about death, dying, and everything in between.

I can come to you anywhere, your hospital room, retirement facility or your home. I'll come for an initial complimentary interview, then when you hire me, I can come as often as once a week or more if desired. If you're able and interested I can change things up and take you to the park or out for coffee. We can do ordinary things like watch TV together, talk about current events or our favorite movies. I can also teach you breathing and relaxation techniques, meditation, and other teaching aids to help take your mind off negative thoughts of the end. I can help you make out your Advanced Directives, DNR's and also, if you wish, work on a journal of your life that you can leave behind. So many things I can do, just ask and I'll let you know if I can do that or not. It's all up to you and your comfort level. I'm here to help you make your last days as comfortable, relaxed, positive and meaningful as I can.

How do I hire you, and what is your rate?

You can hire me by the hour. My current rate is $50/hour. Please contact me with any questions you might have, or to schedule our first complimentary visit. Just click here and I will get back to you as soon as I can. I take Paypal, Venmo and Zelle.

Do you plan funerals, vigils and memorial services

That is not part of my main services, but I can help if needed.

Do you just help the person dying, or can you also help those that are losing or have lost their family member or good friend?

I can help the dying, and family and friends. I can be there as early as the first diagnosis, and all the way through the end of the mourning period.

Death is very hard on the family/friend who is losing or has lost a loved one. I have great books, poems, and other coping techniques for you to do on your own, plus there's my time to be with you if you wish.

Everyone mourns differently, and that is perfectly normal. Keep in mind that your loved one wouldn't want you to stop working, going to family gatherings, or just living out your normal daily routine. Mourning can be a slow process, so be patient and listen to your heart and your body.